Sometimes we see something not for what it is, but by its absence.

A friend has disappeared. Phone calls, texts, even the occasional request to visit drops off. And at first you think nothing of it. But days go by. And then more days.

Busy, I guess. A call goes unanswered. A brief text unread. More days pass. I wonder. Another call. This time the voice mailbox if full. The lack of communication begins to feel ominous. I’ve dealt with this before. It’s never good.

I reach out to my friend’s wife. A day later she texts me, he’s in the hospital again. Same place, same floor as last time … and the time before that.

At the hospital I find him in bed, tubes in his arms, in his nose. Skin pale yellow. A massive, distended belly and thin quivering fingers. His face a familiar mask stretched over a skull. Dull eyes smile a bit and I sit by his bed until late into the night. We watch movies on the little TV attached to the wall and he talks. He tells me about people I’ve never met and places I’ll never visit. I listen and wonder. How much time does he have?

His behavior has led him to this place. The question I want to ask is why? Why? He’s reluctantly candid and speaks vaguely about his anger, his frustrations and his fears.

I’ve never met a problem I can’t solve. Or at least I tell myself that. With there is a will, there is always a way. Will you fight? I promise, I will stand by him if he fights. First step, I spread the word. And, each night I return with more friends. Let us help you. Together. With our support, you will heal. We can do this. I can do this. I know I can.

The power of optimism is a strong force, but there are just some realities beyond the power of positive thinking.

One night I ask his mother, a former nurse, “how bad?”

“Very bad.”

Focus on the future. When you get out of here, where do you want to go? “Paris would be nice” he croaks, “Or home to be with my dog.” He fails to mention his wife and daughter.

A few weeks later his wife will tell me … “he thought he had more time.”

Don’t we all.